Thursday, September 15, 2005

Rob Petrie - call your agent

My daddy always told me, "Son, find something you're good at and then stick with it." (Of course, this is the same man who told me, "Son, I had to PAY my other children to be good, but you were always good for nothing.")

If only I'd have realized sooner that what I'm good at is making a fool out of myself by falling down, I could have changed my name to Van Dyke and gone to Hollywood.

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(Cue theme music. Pan in to main character as he prepares to leave office.)

Main character grabs cell phone and sunglasses and places them in shirt pocket. Picks up iced tea in left hand. Holds keys in right. Walks around desk to the tile hallway, which has just been mopped.

(Zoom in to wet floor sign placed at the opposite end of the hallway, in the dark and not visible from where the main character stands. Switch view to main character's footware - cowboy boots with about a 1" heel)

Character reaches intersection of hallways and moves to turn into the other hall.

(Zoom in on right heel as it makes contact with a wet patch of tile. Pull back for a wide angle shot.)

Hilarity ensues.

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No real injuries, and I never did fall down. My tea glass, however, was half empty by the time I came to a halt, most of the missing contents being upon my person (including some in my left ear). And the mirror in the hallway has now officially seen better days. I smacked it hard with my left elbow. Fortunately, I hit the frame and not the actual mirror, or my elbow would have more than a bruise and the tiniest of scratches.

It really is too bad this wasn't captured on film. I'm sure I would win the $10,000 prize. Not to mention start a new dance craze.

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