Friday, October 29, 2004

Boo! Two

Well it's been a whole year since I made this list. I thought it might be amusing to review/update it. Then again, it might NOT be amusing - I guess it just depends on whether or not your sense of humor is as twisted as mine...

Well, it's Halloween.

In recognition, here is a list of things that I'm scared of (in no particular order).

  • Teenaged drivers (including my daughter...sorry honey)
  • My mother-in-law coming to live with us
  • Zedekiah Hatfield burning down my house
  • My boss' pink blouse/red jumper outfit
  • Having to work until I'm 80
  • Hillary Clinton
  • Finding a rubber cockroach in my blackberry cobbler (it's a long story)
  • Not being able to tell the difference between people laughing with me and laughing at me
  • Chatting up people I don't know
  • Picturing Michael Moore naked

What scares you?

Let's see now ...

Teenaged drivers still scare me, although my daughter has improved dramatically since last year. (Tuesday night's incident notwithstanding)

My mother-in-law IS living with us.

Zedekiah Hatfield has been a little less active this past year, although I do still watch him out of the corner of my eye when he's out in his (junk)"yard".

My boss still has the pink/red outfit, but I haven't seen it lately. She's pregnant so it may not fit. Today she's wearing a black jumper with an orange blouse ... I don't think she appreciated my "Great Pumpkin" reference.

I no longer fear having to work until I'm 80. I've already resigned myself to this. Now I fear working until I'm 90.

Hillary Clinton? Still as scary as ever.

The rubber cockroach/blackberry cobbler phobia. Still there. A company luncheon not to be forgotten.

My default setting is that people laugh AT me. Which is ok, I guess, since it relieves any pressure I might feel to conform and be popular. If they're already laughing, I might as well act the way I want and say the things I want. And if it turns out they were really laughing WITH me? Well, that's just a bonus.

Chatting up people I don't know? Well, present company excluded of course, I still fear talking to folks I don't know. I can talk in front of groups of people I don't know - that doesn't really bother me, but the one-on-one social situations where small talk is required. Run away! Run away!

And picturing Michael Moore naked? People say there are certain things they would NEVER do. I say you don't know what you're capable of. Especially when the consequence of not doing something is being forced to look at pictures of Michael Moore naked. If there is ever another round of Geneva Accords, this will be specifically outlawed as a crime against humanity.

So what else has crept into my psyche this year and wreaked havoc with my insecurities?

  • The network administrator will start blocking blogs.

  • The Youngest Aardvark Child discovers boys.

  • At the last minute, the EAC changes her name to "Hadijah", decides to skip college, and joins a commune.

  • My mother-in-law will come to live with us. (What? Why are you looking at me like that?)

  • Two words - President Kerry.

So, I ask again, what scares YOU?

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