Monday, September 13, 2004


The Star Mangled Banner. Somehow it's just not the same when the guy singing can't or won't pronounce the words correctly. "O'er da Land of da Free and da Home of da Brave" just doesn't cut it, Chester.

Chicago X, track 3. Lady, I don't care if you were just popping across the street to get something from the store. And yeah, maybe I wouldn't be complaining so much about the skimpiness of your outfit if you didn't weigh 250+ pounds. Perhaps, though, I should thank you - the sight of your belly hanging out over those skimpy fleece shorts will give me sufficient motivation to skip dessert for quite some time.

Almost. Having sat through some lopsided TCU/SMU games back in the early 80's, when SMU had Eric Dickerson and Craig James in the backfield, aka The Pony Express (aka The Best Backfield Money Could Buy), I almost felt sorry for the four SMU boys sitting right in front of us as the TCU Horned Frogs demolished the Mustangs 44-0.

Cheesy. Mrs. A and the Eldest Aardvark Child worked the concession stand for the first half of the TCU/SMU game. Mrs. A managed to drop a big glop of nacho cheese on her tennis shoe. (Mmmmm...cheese) One of the other parents working hadn't done it before and had to be shown the ropes. He managed to drop a big glop of nacho cheese on his glove and couldn't figure out what everybody was fussing about when he licked it off. And was then incredulous that he actually had to change his gloves before continuing. (We bought our nachos at a different stand)

ET. Went to Sam's yesterday afternoon and left Mrs. A home doing laundry (!!!), helping with homework and waiting for her brother and Mom to arrive. I only called four times, either asking about items that were not on the list (which should have been) or getting a clarification (Honey-Baked ham or regular ham?). What did we do before cell phones? Made two trips, that's what.

Mom. Brother and Mom showed up a little after 6:00 PM. Would have been there earlier, but Mom insisted he take the same circuitous route she always takes instead of the straight line we'd given him instructions for. (her way has fewer turn offs, but consequently you have to go around your elbow to get to your thumb) He was too tired to argue with her. Mom is now ensconced in our bedroom and will be here for an indeterminate length of time. Mrs. A is experiencing a little stress over this for some strange reason.

Hab or rehab? Last week, Mom got transferred from a normal hospital room to the rehab floor for a ten day to two week rehab schedule. Then she got worse, so they moved her back to a hospital room without actually doing any rehab. Then she got better. So where did they send her? Home of course. How is it that as of Monday she needed two weeks of rehab, gets worse and then by Sunday is good enough to go home? It couldn't have anything to do with her managed healthcare plan, I'm sure.

Goldfish bites woman. Mrs. A had some goldfish (the cracker kind) with her lunch yesterday. One of them was especially crunchy. Only it wasn't the goldfish, but the top off of one of her porcelain crowns. Of course, now that her Mom is here it is 100X more difficult to schedule things like dentist appointments and the like. Add to that Mrs. A's aversion/dread of tooth/mouth pain and it's not a pretty situation. Ironically, the only jury she's ever been on was for a dental malpractice claim. She still doesn't like to talk about it.

Fun with headlines. Well, maybe considering the subject matter it's more like grim irony with headlines. Yesterday's paper had two articles on North Korea on an inside page. The article at the top of the page was a news article and had a headline (I'm working from memory here, so they may not be exact) saying, "Explosion in North Korea - Mushroom Cloud Sighted" and the article at the bottom of the page was an analysis piece (normally written well before hand) and had a headline of, "Does North Korea have Nuclear Weapons?"

It's just a fantasy. I am participating in a Fantasy Football league for the first time this year. A bunch of guys from church got together and formed a league using Yahoo's free service. Pending the outcome of tonight's game, LittleA's Rabble Rousers may actually win one. Of course, I've spent only slightly more than zero time on this thing, and it didn't help that I started a guy who didn't even play yesterday... but my opponent had one of yesterday's best performers benched, so right now I'm leading by 6 points. He's got a WR in tonight's game though, so I'm not counting my eggs just yet.

Polaris. Woke up yesterday morning and discovered a unicorn's horn trying to sprout from the middle of my forehead. It was a little less red (but still sore) this morning. Maybe nobody will notice, I thought. Mrs. A looks at it and says, "You gonna put a band-aid on that?" Of course, we've rearranged everything in the hall bathroom to free up our bathroom for her Mom. And as a result, I cant. Find. The. Stupid. Band. Aids. And I'm out of time, so it's out the door without one. I get to work and sit down and the lady in the next cubicle says, "What's the matter with your forehead?" ::sigh:: Maybe someday I'll outgrow puberty.

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