Tuesday, September 28, 2004


Well, since Terry seems to be hogging all the GOOD material, it looks like I'll have to use the dregs. (karmic balance and all that) In other words, business as usual.

Don't bother to vote, the fix is in.

LOS ANGELES, Sept. 27 (UPI) -- Psychic dogs belonging to actor Sylvester Stallone's mother have projected President George Bush the winner in November, the Los Angeles Times said Monday.

The paper said the dogs foresee the president will beat Democratic challenger John Kerry by 15 percent.


Jackie Stallone has said her dogs channel messages from the spirit world and send them to her telepathically.

No need to comment. Nuff said.


Maybe I'll just take my chances.

LOUISVILLE, Ky. - Stroke victims being treated at a Louisville hospital may benefit from the lessons of the vampire bat.


An experimental clot-busting drug modeled after bat saliva is being tested at University and 16 other sites.

Nothing says "good health" quite like bat spit...


Is he bi-polar? That might explain a few things.
Kerry: Americans Don't Want Jokes From Their President

Kerry Learning to Wield Humor As Weapon
Maybe he should work up a good Herman Munster imitation. That'd be a crowd pleaser for sure.


From the police blotter in the Arcata Eye:
8:05 a.m. Morons stole a family’s tortoise from a 10th Street yard and painted groovy designs on its shell. That can be fatal, but wasn’t in this case, and the tortoise was eventually returned to the owner in a no-questions-asked handoff in an F Street parking lot.
"Oh, sorry dude. I didn't know it was YOUR turtle..."
1:52 p.m. A ponytailed man walked up and down Valley West Boulevard, and from his beard issued a stream of obscenities. He was tracked down by the car wash and advised to stop yelling.
How did that car wash track him down anyway?
8:17 p.m. Someone stared at someone else a little too long in the 1000 block of Seventh Street, triggering mammalian territorial responses. A confrontation and yelling followed.
No word on whether or not feces were flung.
12:33 p.m. Yelling? Moi?
Oui. Vous.

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