Monday, May 03, 2004


Sunday it was up early again. Got a phone call Saturday reminding me that I had to Ush (that is the verb, right?) on Sunday. Which means I had to wear a suit. And a white shirt. And a tie.

There was a time when I wore this get-up every day to work, but it's been years since that was expected or required. Which means that all my old suits and shirts have been relegated to closets in the nether parts of the house. (well, not really NETHER, but I liked the way it sounded) Well, all but ONE anyway. And as is the case with clothes that you don't wear regularly, time has not necessarily been kind. Evidenced by the moth holes in a couple of the suits, making them - well, unsuitable. And I don't normally wear suits to church (a post for a different day) either, so putting one on requires a little more planning than usual.

So I went to the closet and found a white shirt, the one, at least I believed at the time, that I had worn the last time I had to wear a suit. I don't remember when it was exactly, but it was in the last month or so. This one was hanging a little separate from the others, which I figured made it the one most recently laundered, ergo the one I wore most recently. Definitely needed to be ironed, so it was into the dryer for a few minutes to loosen it up and then onto the ironing board. It's a good thing I've been domesticated, so I know how to do these sorts of tasks. I'm thinking as I'm ironing that I could probably get by by ironing the cuffs, collar and front panels, since I don't plan on taking my jacket off, but I was a good boy and ironed it up right. Back on the hanger to await the robing process.

Decided I'd better shave, so instead of using the razor in the medicine cabinet, I decided I'd use my old electric. The one with the blades that have never been changed (even though the manufacturer recommends changing them every six months - like THAT'S going to happen). You see, I don't like the blade in the razor in the medicine cabinet. It's my own fault. I decided the last time I bought blades that I would buy the store brand instead of the name brand blades. They're the same blade after all. I mean, it's probably the SAME manufacturer who makes them, right? Wrong. The store brand blades may LOOK the same, but they either used a lower grade of steel, or used their patented NeverSharp® technology in the manufacturing process. If you take the time to soften up your beard really well, you can shave with these blades without TOO much pain. And of course, I'm too cheap to throw them away. Sigh. Fortunately, Mrs. A bought some GOOD blades and I have installed them on the razor I keep in the other bathroom (so that I can shave in the shower). But for some reason, I didn't shave in the shower on Sunday.

Anyway, not wanting to scrape my face with an inferior blade, I decided to just use my old electric razor. Have I mentioned that the blades have never been changed? My face only burned for about an hour. And I considered this to be the better option!

Once thoroughly depilated, it was time to don the semi-formal wear. On with the pants. (I found them!) Hey, I think I've lost a couple of pounds since I bought this suit. Then on with the shirt. It fit fine through the torso, but either I've gained a lot of weight in my neck, or the shirt has shrunk because it was a very snug fit around the collar. And the cuffs didn't quit make it to my wrists either. Uh oh. It was then, about five minutes prior to the time I needed to leave the house, that I realized that THIS shirt was not the same one I had worn recently. No that's it there in my closet, next the the one suit I keep there. No time to iron it, I'll just have to make the best of it. Fortunately the tie camouflaged some of the tightness, and as best I could tell, my eyes didn't bulge (at least no more than usual anyway), so I don't think it was too obvious.

Got to church in time to make the hot water (for tea and such) and coffee before Sunday School. Let everybody go five minutes early so I could get downstairs and get my door assignment. Wound up ushering on the door closest to the other building. It became evident that the EAC had not notified the Sunday School class she plays piano for that she would not be there this week (band trip) when every other SLOL (sweet little old lady) that came through my door asked, "Is the EAC alright?" in that worried sort of way that SLOL's seem to have down pat. I handed out all of my bulletins and headed for the back to await the passing of the plates. Plates passed with success. The gentleman I was paired with has a last name of Pole. His nickname? Why Skinny, of course. And I think he's about 95 or 96, so while we didn't set any land speed records, we did get the job done a-ok.

Won't have to do that again for another three months, so maybe I can get out of wearing a suit again for at least that long. I hesitate to say this publicly, but I can trust you to keep a secret, right? Even if I had to dress up, I had a good time greeting people and smiling and shaking hands. Don't let that get around, though, or folks might start expecting that every Sunday.

Sunday afternoon it was up to the high school to pick up the EAC and Mrs. A. The band performed well at their competition and Saturday was spent at the Galleria instead of Astroworld due to the inclement weather. They were exhausted but not too cranky. I'll let Mrs. A tell you about the trip when she gets around to it. Suffice it to say, no one did anything spectacularly stupid this year ... at least that we know of anyway.

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