Thursday, December 18, 2003

Let's review

The Fort Worth Star-Telegram reviewed The Return of the King in yesterday's paper.

Christopher Kelly is one of those reviewers who has to show his disdain for the masses by panning most movies that ordinary people (like me, of course) will enjoy. So my rule of thumb is that if he likes it, I'll skip it. It's not so much that he pans movies that most people enjoy, it's the sneer he has while doing it that irritates me.
Fans, take note: The Return of the King offers a lot more of what you've already seen. More Gollum. More gargantuan-sized battles. More fantastical creatures. More mealy-mouthed speeches about good versus evil. (emphasis mine) If you liked the first two, by all means, go forth and experience rapture.
How totally unsophisticated of me to actually believe in that whole good/evil dynamic. The topper for me, though, was this 'graph.
Merry (Dominic Monaghan) professes his undying love and faith to Pippin (Billy Boyd). Later, Samwise (Sean Astin) takes Frodo (Elijah Wood) into his arms and carries him to the edge of Mordor's flaming pit. The Lord of the Rings movies have always teetered on the brink of homoeroticism -- the only major female characters are a disappearing elf (Cate Blanchett) and an absent elf (Liv Tyler) -- but here Jackson's self-seriousness sends things far into the realm of unintentional camp. By the time the post-climactic hobbit-on-hobbit hugging commences (and continues, oh, for about 20 minutes), The Return of the King has transformed into its own ready-made Saturday Night Live skit: Hobbits in Love.
Projection? Anyone? Anyone? Yeah, that's what I thought too.

You know, I don't really mind if you don't like the movie, just don't sneer at the rest of us who probably will.

  • |